Michael Barnes: music

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The lyrics were imagined one night when I couldn't sleep. Instead, I sat up thinking about life, death, and my role in the world. This happens all the time. My lack of religious beliefs and overall spirituality often inspires bleak thoughts. It seems I'm aware of every ticking second, feeling myself age as I sit and do nothing. But nothing feels like everything. It's as is I'm trying to attain something higher that I don't know exists. So I constantly have an urge to move quickly and say "f**k the roses" and drive myself towards this higher self, which I often place as obtaining rock star status, but I'm not thoroughly convinced.

And all the while I'm in college, looking at everyone as though they're all being pressed right out of a factory. To them, music is play. Art and human creativity is play. A hobby. They look down on those who resist the paths that are widely acceptable ie: attending college, having a well-paying job, marriage, kids, nice house/car, blah and blah. And ironically, they admire their favorite artists and actors who either left college or never went.

I don’t have time to play,
I’ve got no time to spare,
I’m only here for a little while,
Until I’m up in the air,
I don’t have time to think,
I’ve got no time to shrink,
I gotta do something real meaningful,
Don’t wanna work out the kinks.

I’m just withering away,
As I speak right now,
I’m just falling apart,
As I break on down.
I don’t have that sense of security,
Of a Christian soul,
This is the one little life I’ve got,
So it better be whole.

I can’t deal with today,
It doesn’t feel like my dream,
It’s just the same old boring story,
Of every other specie.
I just work, fuck, play when I can and die a little every day.
This isn’t how I want it to be in the end,
This isn’t how I’m gonna stay.

I wasn’t born to be tried and true,
I wasn’t born to be just like you,
I wasn’t made to stand in line,
I wasn’t made to die inside.
Throwing away your humanity,
Push it all down just to be a machine.
Hiding away creativity,
Push it all down just to be a machine.

I won’t let the world make me who I am.
© 2008 Michael Barnes